2 Chapter Two “You have all worked hard and sacrificed things to get to this moment”: DREAMers, Refugees, and Recent Immigrant Students Pursuing the Dream of Higher Education

We have already seen—in chapter one—how being the children of immigrants profoundly shapes the lives of many PSU students. The students in this chapter often speak of their parents’ sacrifices and the pressure—and importance—of honoring those sacrifices. However, student authors also speak—from firsthand experiences—about how disorienting immigration can be. This is, of course, especially true of our unnamed DACA student who writes of balancing commitments to educational spaces—that felt alien—with family demands to work and care for relatives. DACA students often speak of how balancing such school/family commitments is difficult while living with the legal and psychological vulnerability of being undocumented (i.e., the fear of being deported and the stigma of not being a U.S. “citizen”).

Student author Sanchez-Ramirez is also acutely aware of the risks and sacrifices that her parents made for her, and that she “would have to work twice as hard to obtain my goals and dreams” than her U.S.-born classmates. For student author Chevdar, a refugee from warfare in the Ukraine, it took several years to take advantage of the educational and career opportunities the U.S. offered. Student authors Cabrera-Diaz and Sido left Mexico and Ethiopia, respectively, and struggled for many years with a new and confusing culture and educational systems that often served them poorly.

Education (e.g., graduating from high school, applying for college, graduating from college) is at the heart of these students’ dreams, and the dreams of their parents. For our student authors, though, success often requires much persistence, wisdom, sacrifice, networking, and perhaps even a bit of luck.

Definition of Terms

DACA. “DACA” refers to a US immigration program called Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (Department of Homeland Security, 2020). The DACA program shields “some young undocumented immigrants —who often arrived at a very young age in circumstances beyond their control—from deportation” (Anti-Defamation League, 2020, para. 1).

DREAMERS. “DREAMers” refers to the Development, Relief, and Education for Alien Minors Act (“DREAM”), a failed 2001 immigration bill in the U.S. Congress. Generally, “DREAMers” is a U.S.-specific umbrella term used to designate students who may identify as undocumented, DACA-mented, or un-DACA-mented (Anti-Defamation League, 2020, para. 1)

Refugees. Refugees are “people who have been forced to flee their homes and have crossed an international border to find safety in another country” (United Nations Refugee Agency, n.d.).

References

Anti-Defamation League. (2020, June 18). What is DACA and who are the DREAMers? https://www.adl.org/education/resources/tools-and-strategies/table-talk/what-is-daca-and-who-are-the-dreamers

United Nations Refugee Agency. (n.d.). What is a refugee? https://www.unhcr.org/us/what-refugee

Abdinasir Sido

Refugee Reflections

Setting up the poem’s context. This poem is a personal reflection on the experience of an immigrant who fled Ethiopia at a young age with his family. The poem highlights the struggle to fit in and be accepted in a new country, where stereotypes and prejudices can create barriers to integration. In this poem, I reflect on the sacrifices my parents made to provide a better future for me and my siblings. The poem speaks to the universal experience of many immigrants who face challenges in adapting to a new culture, while also highlighting the unique struggles faced by Black immigrants in a society still grappling with the legacy of slavery and racism.

“Refugee Reflections”

Though I’m not a victim of that slave shit

It doesn’t mean I am not affected by it

Every day I have to fight stereotypes and prove to white folks I am not violent

At the age of nine, my family fled Ethiopia in hopes of a better future for us

My parents spread their wings across the Atlantic Ocean

Leaving all the little, we had behind

Except for suitcases full of hopes and dreams

I thought we had left struggles behind

But new ones came into our minds

Dad hustling for the family, mom comforting us at home

When I arrived here, I quickly discovered that simulation helps get rid of awkward tension.

Just do anything

Anything to be considered in

By elementary school, I was in a classroom full of white kids not being white enough

By middle school, i just wasn’t black enough

I had tried to walk in the middle path as i looked for my lost identity

And hip-hop was introduced, so it was always hard to learn Quran at dugsi

For countless hours I’ve jammed to K’naan singing along

“When I get older, I will be stronger”

As she rocked her black puma’s, holding my hands tight to the local Somali shop

My mother constantly reminded

“Hooyoy wax baro”

“My dear child, study your books”

Whereas my father gave me a pat on the back, advising me to never

Ever fall for girls and their deceptions

Man, this guy constantly pressured me to bring home A’s

Reminding me low grades meant low pay

But somehow, he always insisted we were blessed

But i knew with every blessing came a test

Every now, and then ninety seconds on the phone with my relatives back home

But relativity speaking, they were hungry

And thirsty

High school was a different story

I saw my brothers shatter their mothers’ tears

Destroy her dreams

And turn to absolute beasts

I saw as they sat in their cars

Passing blunts around

Talking about that one time

They met that cute girl

With them lengthy curls

And body type they liked

To them, this was all a dream

But you know what

I have seen boys cry

And fathers cry

But most importantly, I have seen mothers cry

As they raised their arms high

Asking the most high

“How could you let this happen to me?”

And still, I believe our parents always had a vision for us

They hopped on a minimum of ten years on welfare so we could go to medical school

And study health care

So that we can move them and the ones back home

Out of the damn hood

ERM

2021 AVID (Advancement Via Individual Determination) High School Graduation Speech from A PSU DACA Student

Two years ago, I was in the same shoes as all of you–days before officially graduating and celebrating this remarkable achievement with my AVID (Advancement Via Individual Determination) family. AVID and those in it, Mr. Smith, and my classmates encouraged me to pursue my goals despite the challenges. AVID represents an exceptional part of my high school experience because it was a place where I felt welcome and encouraged. The idea of being in college as a first-generation and minority student often feels impossible, not only to us as students but also to our parents. When I told my parents the cost of a public university, they immediately told me, “So, you’re not going?” To give you a perspective of their thinking, which I completely understood, the cost of a public university is more than my mother makes in a single year. The process of going to college continues to be a learning path for me and my parents. It did not help that I did not qualify for federal aid and other scholarships as a DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) recipient. However, during my senior year in AVID, we all helped each other by sharing scholarships we found; Mr. Smith gave us so many resources, and I was able to apply for local scholarships.

Para ustedes como padres, esta celebración refleja el trabajo duro que sus hijos e hijas han hecho para llegar a este punto, y hay que reconocerlo porque es muy difícil no solo por el trabajo que hicieron sino emocionalmente también. En la comunidad hispana, pocas veces se habla de lo emocional pero es una parte importante de los logros. La graduación de la preparatoria es sólo el comienzo y sus estudiantes se enfrentarán con más retos en el futuro. A veces es difícil entender estos obstáculos y el trabajo de nosotros los estudiantes porque muchas veces somos los primeros en nuestras familias en continuar nuestra educación. Hablo por experiencia porque mis padres no entienden lo que hago la mayoría del tiempo. Algo que no puedo enfatizar suficiente es que, este es el camino de sus hijos. No decidan lo que creen que sea mejor para ellos; dejen que ellos descubran lo que les gusta, incluyendo su carrera. Como padres, siempre estarán allí para apoyar a sus hijos, pero estos próximos años son para que ellos exploren y aprendan. Para que cometan errores y aprendan de ellos. No es algo fácil y la presión no ayuda. Se que parecen muchas cosas y tal vez parezcan regaños pero como dice mi papá, “No son regaños, son consejos.” Apoyen mucho a sus estudiantes, especialmente en sus reconocibles logros.

Pursuing post-secondary education is financially challenging, emotionally draining, and overall a difficult path. This is especially true during senior year when receiving good and bad news about schools and scholarships and facing other factors like leaving your family behind. In Hispanic & immigrant families, this is especially relevant because we carry a lot of pressure. Many of us often serve essential roles in our families, so it’s challenging for them to see us go, and we often feel guilty for leaving.

Getting into college is already a significant accomplishment because we are often the first ones in our family to follow this journey; however, it will also come with many challenges. Something that stuck with me from my senior year was that post-secondary spaces were not built for us. To this day, colleges often do not represent the diversity of our communities, which can lead to minority students not feeling a part of the school. In my first year, I struggled with feeling a sense of belonging in my science and math courses–courses where the demographic was lacking in diverse ethnicities and genders. The students around me were confident and always asked questions, whereas I felt small and dumb. Because of this, I began struggling with imposter syndrome–a feeling that made me doubt my ability, and I questioned whether I deserved my accomplishments–or if they had only been because of luck.

To reduce these struggles, I relied on the professors who showed they cared about me being there and made it feel like a learning space, not a competition. I sought out clubs & organizations that interested me to feel a part of the campus and the Portland community. In Portland, I volunteered at a preschool reading program, helped senior AVID students with their college essays, and wrote an encouraging letter to a high school student unsure of pursuing college because of the financial aspect. These experiences reminded me of how far I’d come since high school, which helped me remember that I had earned my place at PSU.

There will be many times when you’ll be facing very similar challenges, so it will be necessary to surround yourself with people who respect you and your goals. It will also go by quickly, so enjoy it while you can and try new things–join clubs, organizations, travel abroad, and maybe even become a mentor to the younger students. Discover yourself in college and find what you are genuinely passionate about–not the path that others think is best for you. I struggled with this my first year but am now discovering a career that interests me. And, of course, take care of your mental health. Recognize when you need a break; don’t push it off as laziness because small breaks can keep you from burning out too soon and losing your motivation. Following this, college is a learning space, so don’t bring yourself down for a failed test or assignment. Straight A’s and good grades in high school do not reflect your grades in college. Getting C’s and failing tests my first year was challenging because I doubted my ability or if my demanding major was the right choice. It’s critical to think of setbacks as learning experiences and analyzing what you can do to improve.

Finally, and without a doubt, you have all worked hard to deserve this unique, individual celebration. Graduating from high school is the beginning of your journey, and continuing to college is your next step. You have all incorporated yourselves in places you deserve to be in as part of the AVID class by being in advanced, AP (Advanced Placement), and dual-credit classes throughout high school, which often lack diversity. Like your AP and advanced courses, you deserve to be in countless other spaces. All of you deserve to be in a college classroom. You deserve to hold a leadership position and share your perspectives. You deserve to have a role in the career you are passionate about, whether a teacher, psychologist, architect, or engineer. You deserve to go beyond an undergraduate education and pursue a master’s or Ph.D. education. These spaces weren’t meant for us from the start. But you can all make it a space for you because you deserve to be there and anywhere else.

Today, I only see the tip of the iceberg on the journey that led you all here, but I know that beneath that, you have all worked hard and sacrificed things to get to this moment. Every single one of you has demonstrated the individual determination you carry, and I have no doubt you’ll use it wisely, so I’d like to wish you luck wherever you are heading.

Juan Cabrera-Diaz

Hope and Community

The first thing I remember when I started school in the United States was how different it was from the school in Mexico. I spent the early years of my education in Mexico. At the same time I would go to the United States for school, but I would only go for two or three months. In turn I could not fully learn English, but I was also not able to make many friends so this meant that I only had two or three friends. After some years I went to the United States to go full time. My family wanted me to get a better education, so I left everything I knew and moved to the United States. When I walked into my classroom everyone looked at me. I saw one face that I recognized, but the rest were unknown ones. My teacher took me to the front and introduced me to everyone and asked me to say some things about myself. So in my broken English I spoke; of course my accent did not help, some kids started to laugh, others started to whisper to each other.

I sat next to my friend Gustavo who was the only person I knew. We had gone to school ever since preschool, and through the years what little I was able to go to. At the beginning when the teacher would speak to the class I would not understand most of what he was saying. I remember Gustavo trying to help me understand but sometimes this was not enough. I later found out that since I had missed half the school year everyone already had their own friend group. I tried to make friends with the ones Gustavo had, but it was hard due the fact that I could not speak to them. As time went on I did make them my friends yet I could not help feeling like an outsider. Before I knew it the school year was over. I had learned a lot more especially because a lot of the people I would play with only spoke English. My summer was spent trying to learn more English because I had to help my parents translate which was good practice. When I started my 5th year I had a good feeling about my English skills, but in the middle of class a lady took me out of class. She explained to me how I would be taken out of classes each day to help me learn English. I thought to myself this is great I can learn faster. At the time I did not know that this program was English Learning Development (ELD), which was a program that helped students develop their English speaking skills.

The next day I went to the little room where there was a group of kids. We were all given textbooks that we were told would be used to learn English. This book had little exercises that were meant to help us learn, but to me this did not work at all. I thought that the teacher was going to teach me one-on-one, but I was wrong. So each day we would walk in the classroom and work on these textbooks. I was not learning much in terms of speaking but my reading did get a little better.

I later started to hate when they would take me out of class because I would be taken out when we were learning math or English writing. They would take me out of class to teach me things I learned in second or third grade. This really affected me, because I would still be tested in math and my writing skills, even though I could not do as well as the other students since I was not being taught with them. This was the same when it came to my writing skills. I was not using proper grammar or punctuation, but then again I didn’t even know what the words meant at the time. I would struggle with my homework because I did not understand what was going on. When I would go home my mom would be mad at me for not knowing what to do which made me feel frustrated because I knew it wasn’t my lack of skill

When I got to middle school this changed only because we had multiple classes, but I was still put in ELD. On the bright side I am glad I was put in because it allowed me to make a lot of the friends I have now. These people that were put in with me were some of the smartest people I have ever met. They all had talents that I did not even think were possible, but then I realized that we were all in here because we were different from the rest. The only thing that changed was that we were no longer using textbooks, we were using computers. We would take tests to see how much we had learned throughout the year, but I never liked them because they were not able to tell how much we had really learned. I did this for the next three years, and each year I did not get a say in whether I wanted to take the class or not.

Our freshman year of high school my teacher said we could test out of it. This test I took was simple or maybe that was my luck, but at the end of the week my teacher pulled me out to tell me that I got all 5’s which is the highest score you can get. I wanted to cry but then he told me that I was the only one that was able to test out. This was a shock to me because I thought that all the people I knew would have tested out like me. I felt bad because they were going to have to take another year of being in the program. The next year some got out and some still had to take ELD, but I asked them all what they all thought of ELD, and we all said the same thing, that we felt going through that program set us back.

That is my story. There are many more details that I did not put down, but I feel that anyone who reads this has a pretty good idea of what I had to go through. Even after being put through a program that hindered me instead of helping me, I was able to make it through. I was put through many years of feeling that I was not good enough and that I had to be consistently working to improve my skills. By talking to others now I am able to understand how we were all put in a system that set us back in certain ways. I later found out that schools make more money from kids in ELD, and this is probably why they don’t try to teach us to the best of their abilities. By working with schools we can help them understand that there are better ways of helping these kinds of students than making them feel excluded for things that are not their fault. Things need to change because giving a kid a computer and telling them to learn a language that they are barely able to understand and speak is not the way.

Vlad Chevdar

Follow Your Passion

I moved to the  U.S. at the age of  14. When I lived in Ukraine, my family was considered rich. I didn’t see much of a sense in being rich if we had to work hard. I had to help my father with the care of our big apple orchard. I had to do many kinds of work to maintain trees, like picking apples and fallen leaves. Growing vegetables and fruits in a garden near our home. This might seem like a fine job, but in reality it is donkey work. I soon realized that I didn’t want to have anything to do with the garden—the apple orchard and pretty much any other jobs that required manual labor were not for me. The more I worked there the more I started considering my future career outside of the town that I was born in. As much as I don’t want to say, but I really wasn’t a good student in school. I got low grades just because every other of my mates did, and we considered it normal. My parents didn’t believe that I would someday be going for a bachelor’s degree because they saw me playing video games more than studying. But I wanted to get the education that could allow me to work in a chair. Due to the war that separated Crimea from Ukraine, the country underwent a revolution. My parents saw that the country may not be safe for decades because of the continuous war in the eastern regions. This is what made us apply for immigrant status in the U.S. It was a long process that took years on its last stage. I was stressed as I don’t have the life I wanted if we get rejected. Fortunately we got accepted, with all the difficulties we had to face a year later we finally made it to the U.S.

In the new country, I saw an opportunity to start my reputation as a better student than I used to be. I was accepted into a high school where I started my journey as a freshman. I started learning English with my siblings and friends. After months, I saw the progress and the use of learning a new language. I saw myself ahead of the people who did not have the opportunity to learn. I realized that the more I study, the higher I might be. Still at that time I neither understood nor spoke English well enough to take science classes, and it was even difficult with math, as I was in a class where the teacher talked 90 percent of the time. This caused me to be demoted with my math class to the entry level. In that new and easy class, I found a friend who spoke my first language. It made me go back in time when I wasn’t a good student. I forgot to study hard for my dream. But it wasn’t for long, as my friend moved to another state, and I was alone with the classes I had. I just realized, it was too late to graduate in four years as I expected, as the school’s program didn’t work that way. It is like if I had to take freshman inquiry as a Junior in college. But I did not lose hope. Later, I found out that I still can accomplish the goal of graduating on time. If I just switched to another school and studied more than others, which I indeed did. In the new school I had to cover the two unproductive years. With so many classes I had to study twice more than my classmates did. It turned out to be right for me as I accomplished my initial goals. I improved my GPA thus graduating in four years which was a big accomplishment for an immigrant.

The video games I played introduced me to a job that I was dreaming of. I thought of people who designed mobile games, and where they are working. So I went to college to get the skills, and to be like them. I had two options for my majors, the majors are different but the field is the same. I first tried Data Science, but,  after two terms, the classes that I was taking seemed to be the opposite of what I liked. It was not my passion. I was waiting for the term to take a Computer Science class. In the third term, I finally stepped into programming via my first computer science course, intro to problem solving. That course taught me how to think as a programmer. Turns out, it was way easier than I expected it to be. I was a lot better at program solving than I thought. It was easy for me, but I wanted even more challenges. I wanted to study more. I was greedy to solve any problem that I could find on the web. In the end, this allowed me to finish assignments first and write the midterm and final exams in minutes.

If I just had delayed more with changing my major, it would be a lot more costly. Seeking my passion was not straightforward, but, in the end, I found it. I was afraid to be a senior who said perhaps I should have picked a different major. Even in my high school years, I saw people leaving school on the way and starting working at the jobs that I was escaping from, but it was only motivating me, I valued studying to get the best job for me. It could be hard to study through the end with nothing but knowledge and loans. It seems like your friends who left high school have a job and some money, but doubtful they later will say that it was the right decision that they made. The difference between my choice and theirs is that they do not seek to work in an office. It just seems that many people do not take the opportunity that they have.

Diana Sanchez Ramirez

“Everyone or No One”: My Family’s Journey, My Journey

I was born in Puebla, Mexico in 1998. Let’s go back a few years to how my family came to the U.S. My mother and father first met when they were just kids. They were actually neighbors who later on started dating when they got older. At age 16, my mother had my older sister, and their lives changed completely. My mother moved in with my father’s family and dropped out of school, and my father no longer continued to pursue his career. In 1995, my second older sister was born. My father became financially unstable and he decided to go to the U.S because everyone said it was a better country to get a job. He endured some of the toughest situations while trying to come to the U.S. My father finally arrived in the USA for the very first time in 1996. Originally, he planned to be living in the Midwest since he had a set employment there, but the coyote (men or women who smuggle people into the U.S.) didn’t want to take him anywhere anymore. So, another one of the men who was along with him offered him a place to stay and my father secured a job in Hillsboro, Oregon.

He didn’t work for long in the U.S. because he started missing his family. He came back to see my mother and my sisters. In 1997, my brother was born and again my father left to work again. By the time I was born in 1998, my parents decided to move to the U.S. for a couple of years just to make money to build a home in Mexico. However, my father’s plan was to only bring me and my older brother, but my mom didn’t allow it. She said: “It was everyone or no one.” When I arrived for the first time, I was only two months old and my siblings and parents again endured hard moments. The coyotes wouldn’t feed them, my sisters’ clothes ripped, and they stole my mother’s bag which had all of the baby necessities.

Ever since 1998, we have never left the United States, but we have all our family in Mexico. I have only had the pleasure to meet three uncles, two from my father’s side and one from my mother’s side. So, it’s always just been me and my family. As an immigrant child, I have always wanted to compensate my parents for bringing us to the U.S to have a better life and education. They haven’t been able to see their parents (mis abuelos, my grandparents) for 22 years and my parents continue to stay here for us.

As a child, I didn’t realize the difficulty it was going to be to continue my education and my life goals. In 2012, President Obama changed the lives of many children (like myself) to obtain a work employment authorization card. I didn’t understand how this card could possibly help us, but then the following year my oldest sister was going to graduate from high school. She wanted to be a pediatrician, but in order to do so she had to be a citizen. And it hit me: I would have to work twice as hard to obtain my goals and dreams. Senior year came around for me.I struggled to sign up for scholarships that accepted DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) recipients. I wasn’t eligible for FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid): not having FAFSA continues to be a challenge in my life. I was only eligible for state aid. When I was a senior, state aid for DACA students was the first time it became available. So, I wasn’t sure what financial form to fill out, federal or state. As much as my parents wanted to help me, they couldn’t because of the language barrier and their lack of understanding how college really works. My siblings had begun college, but a lot had changed in their lives since they graduated college so they couldn’t even help me either. I had been a part of this great program, I Have a Dream Foundation (now known as Greater Than) that helped me so much. The program helped me apply for schools, scholarships, and even my financial aid. Through the program’s help, I had my four years of undergrad paid for and further scholarships that paid for other parts of my education (such as books and transportation fees).

I just graduated in the spring of 2021 in Public Health with a minor in Criminal Justice/Criminology. I am now getting ready to begin my journey at the University of Washington for my Master’s Degree in Public Policy & Governance. As an immigrant and a child of immigrant parents who came to the U.S with nothing, I can say this: Anything is possible as long as you push forward to get where you want to be.