Divorce

Changing Families

As family structures have shifted over the years, children and adolescents have had to adjust to their changing forms. According to the US Census Bureau, in 1960, 88% of children resided with married parents, while only 5% had parents who were divorced or separated and 1% resided with parents who had never been married. By 2008, 70% of children resided with married parents, 15% had parent who were divorced or separated, and 14% resided with parents who had never married (Pew Research Center, 2010).

By 2017, only 65% of children lived with two married parents, while 32% (24 million children younger than 18) lived with an unmarried parent (Livingston, 2018). Some 3% of children were not living with any parents (e.g., living with grandparents, other relatives, or foster parents). In 2024, about 71% of children under 18 lived with two parents (married or cohabiting), 25% lived in single parent households (20% with mother, 5% with father), and 3% with neither parent (see Figure 4.3).

The increase in children living with solo or cohabiting parents is thought to be due to overall declines in marriage, combined with increases in divorce. Of concern is that children who live with a single parent are also more likely to be living in reduced socioeconomic circumstances. Specifically, while only 7.5% of married couples with children lived below the poverty line in 2021, 35% of solo mothers and 17% of solo fathers lived in poverty.

Poverty Status of Children by Family Structure, 2021

Divorce and its Effects on Children

Children and youth in the US have also had to adjust to changing  rates of divorce. The prevalence of divorce began increasing after World War II and peaked in the decades from 1960 to 1980. Although they remain high, rates have declined in recent decades, with the exception of couples over the age of 50, where rates are increasing slightly. There are about 2 million marriages in the US each year, and approximately 800,000 divorces. Divorce is most commonly initiated by women, who initiate about 70% of divorces.  Most people who divorce (approximately 75-80%) go on to remarry in the next 5 years.

Hence, dealing with divorce and the subsequent reconstitution of a blended family has become a much more common experience for children and adolescents. About 50% of children under the age of 16 will watch their parents go through a divorce; and of these about three-quarters will later become part of a new blended family. These numbers underestimate the prevalence of family dissolution because they do not include cohabiting parents who subsequently separate (Raley & Sweeney, 2020).

Certain losses are inevitable in a divorce. Children miss the parent they no longer see as frequently, as well as any other family members who become estranged because of the divorce. Children may grieve the loss of the family as a unit, and reminisce about “the good old days” when the whole family lived together. Moreover, the process of divorce is typically accompanied by change, disruption, and confusion, as well as increased family conflict. Because they are themselves dealing with the divorce, parents are typically stressed and fewer resources are available for parenting.

Very often, divorce also means a significant change in the amount of money coming into the household (Sbarra & Whisman, 2022). Economic impacts can be severe. Custodial mothers experience a 25% to 50% drop in their family income, and typically only regain the same income level via remarriage (Anderson, 2018). For mothers whose pre-divorce income was already relatively low, this means even more precarious financial circumstances, and so can have an impact on housing, food security, neighborhood choice, schools, and healthcare. Even in more affluent families, a drop in income can mean that children experience new constraints on spending or entertainment. School-aged children, especially, may notice that they can no longer have toys, clothing or other items to which they have grown accustomed. Or it may mean that there is less eating out or participation in recreational activities.

The custodial parent may experience stress at not being able to rely on child support payments or having the same level of income as before. If a parent has to take on more work, they may also be less available to the children. Children may also have to adjust to other changes accompanying a divorce. The divorce might mean moving to a new home and changing schools or friends. It might mean leaving a neighborhood that has meant a lot to them as well. The stresses that all these changes bring can result in more tension and discord at home.

Short-term Consequences of Divorce

Research suggests that, although there is much variation, divorce is typically difficult for children (Akpan & Ezeume, 2022; Raley & Sweeney, 2020). For example, Weaver and Schofield (2015) selected a subsample of families from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development, and found that children from divorced families had significantly more behavior problems than those from a matched sample of children from non-divorced families. These problems were evident immediately after the separation and also in early and middle adolescence. An analysis of the factors that make adjustment to divorce easier or harder indicated that children exhibited more externalizing behaviors if the family had fewer financial resources before the separation. Researchers suggested that perhaps a lower income and lack of educational and community resources contributed to the stress involved in the divorce. Additional factors predicting fewer behavior problems included a post-divorce home that was more supportive and stimulating, and a mother who was more sensitive and less depressed.

In general, the initial consequences of divorce can be relatively serious for children (Akpan & Ezeume, 2022; Raley & Sweeney, 2020). They often express anger and other indicators of distress, and show increased problems in major areas of functioning: more unruly and demanding behavior at home, poorer school performance, and more difficulty with peers. Children may also lose some of their confidence, trust, and security in relationships. About twice as many children show severe problems following divorce (20-25%), compared to a normative base rate of about 10%. Difficulties typically peak at about one year, leading some researchers to conclude that, in terms of familial issues, the consequences of divorce are second only to parental death, qualifying divorce as an adverse childhood experience (Akpan & Ezeume, 2022).

However, not all the consequences of divorce are negative (Hetherington & Kelly, 2002). Divorce often brings an end to (or at least reduces) inter-parental conflict. If so, children may feel relief. Children and youth may also be given more opportunity to discover their own abilities and gain independence, thus fostering self-esteem. In a study of college-age respondents, Arditti (1999) found that increasing closeness and a movement toward more democratic parenting styles were experienced following divorce. Children from single-parent families also talk to their mothers more often than children of two-parent families (McLanahan & Sandefur, 1994). Others have also found that relationships between mothers and children become closer and stronger (Guttman, 1993) and suggest that greater equality and less rigid parenting is beneficial after divorce (Stewart, Copeland, Chester, Malley, & Barenbaum, 1997).

Child characteristics. Certain characteristics of the child can also make post-divorce adjustment easier or harder. Specifically, children with an easygoing temperament, who problem-solve well, and seek social support manage better after divorce. Children who have a difficult temperament may experience more difficulties. Boys typically display more overt problems than girls, and may increasingly act out during the transition. A further protective factor for children is intelligence (Weaver & Schofield, 2015). Children with higher IQ scores appear to be buffered from some of the effects of divorce.

Children’s ability to deal with a divorce may also depend on their age. Infants and preschool-age children may suffer the heaviest impact from the loss of routine that the marriage offered (Temke 2006). Younger children often take divorce harder because they blame themselves; and can break their parent hearts a little if they promise to be good if only their parents will get back together again. Research has found that divorce may be most difficult for school-aged children, as they are old enough to understand the separation but not old enough to understand the reasoning behind it. Older teenagers are more likely to recognize the conflict that led to the divorce but may still feel fear, loneliness, guilt, and pressure to choose sides. Older children often turn to peers and their families to escape from their home situation.

Long-term Consequences of Divorce

Although children show much recovery following divorce, small effects persist. Compared to children from never-divorced families, children of divorce show lower levels of achievement in school, self-esteem, and social competence, as well as slightly elevated levels of emotional and behavioral problems (boys show more externalizing and girls more internalizing behavior). During adolescence, children of divorce also have slightly higher rates sexual activity and pregnancy, are less likely to graduate from high school, and have more troubled romantic relationships.

To some extent, the relationships of adult children of divorce have also been found to be more problematic than those of adults from intact homes. For 25 years, Hetherington and Kelly (2002) followed a large sample of children of divorce and those whose parents stayed together. The results indicated that 25% of adults whose parents had divorced experienced social, emotional, or psychological problems compared with only 10% of those whose parents remained married. For example, children of divorce have more difficulty forming and sustaining intimate relationships as young adults, are more dissatisfied with their marriages, and consequently more likely to get divorced themselves (Arkowitz & Lilienfeld, 2013).

There also appear to be some lingering health effects, specifically higher incidence of smoking and alcohol use (Amiri et al., 2021). One of the most commonly cited long-term effects of divorce is that children of divorce may have lower levels of education and occupational status (Akpan & Ezeume, 2022; Richter & Lemola, 2017). This may be a consequence of lower income and resources for funding education rather than to divorce per se. In those divorces where economic hardship does not occur, there may be no impact on long-term economic status (Drexler, 2005).

Helping Children Adjust to Divorce

Although they may experience more problems than children from non-divorced families, most children of divorce develop strong, positive relationships with their custodial parent, and go on to lead happy, well-adjusted lives (Akpan & Ezeume, 2022; Raley & Sweeney, 2020; Seccombe & Warner, 2004). Long-term harm from parental divorce is not inevitable, and children can navigate the experience successfully (Arkowitz & Lilienfeld, 2013). Research has uncovered a variety of factors that can positively contribute to the their adjustment, and explain a good deal of the variation we find in children of divorce. This information can be useful to parents and other family members, as well as to policy makers and interventionists designing programs to support families going through the divorce process (Herrero et al., 2023).

Methodological Issues in the Study of Divorce

When examining these research findings, it is important to consider three methodological issues. First, divorce and remarriage are complex processes that unfold over time, so it is important to examine trajectories of development in context (Cao et al., 2022). Second, marriages that end in divorce often include inter-parental conflict and other problems with family functioning. Hence, some of the negative consequences associated with divorce are likely due to preexisting problems (Anderson, 2014). Hence, in addition to comparing children of divorce to children from intact families, it may also be helpful to compare them to children from intact families that were similar pre-divorce (e.g., that had high levels of inter-parental conflict). It is likely that both groups with high inter-parental conflict (intact and divorced) would fare worse than children from intact families that were low in inter-parental conflict. Hence, any programs or interventions that reduce inter-parental conflict (before or after divorce) would be good for children and adolescents (Ambros et al., 2022).

Third, as mentioned previously, a major effect of divorce for women is a drastic loss of income. Research shows that children of divorce whose families are higher in socioeconomic status fare better, and many of the negative consequences of divorce may be a result of financial hardship rather than divorce per se (Anderson, 2014; Drexler, 2005). Hence, an important tool for buffering children from the effects of divorce would be to ensure that income levels of custodial parent(s) remain(s) high and stable.

Factors that Support Children and Adolescents during Divorce

Research suggests that the primary factors that shape how children deal with divorce are: (1) the quality of parenting provided by the custodial parent(s); (2) the quality of the child’s relationship with the non-custodial parent; (3) the quality of their parents’ co-parenting, including consistency and protecting the child from exposure to inter-parental conflict; (4) additional social supports from extended family and friends; and (5) not having to deal with any additional life stressors.

For example, Furstenberg and Cherlin (1991) suggest that the primary factor influencing the way that children adjust to divorce is the way the custodial parent adjusts. If that parent is adjusting well, children will benefit. Children cope better when they reside with a well-functioning parent or parents, and also have access to social support from peers and other adults. Children manage better when both parents limit conflict, and provide warmth, emotional support and appropriate discipline. Clearly “two generation” interventions are needed, in which programs and resources target not only children but also parents, who themselves are dealing with a potentially stressful life event. When events like divorce hit a whole family, the support provided by friends and extended family can help both parents to cope more constructively, and that is very important for buffering children and adolescents from potential short- and long-term negative consequences.

Is Cohabitation and Remarriage More Difficult than Divorce for Children?

The remarriage of a parent may be a more difficult adjustment for a child than the divorce of a parent (Ayadi et al., 2025; Seccombe & Warner, 2004). Parents and children typically have different ideas about how the stepparent should behave. Parents and stepparents are more likely to see the stepparent’s role as that of parent. A more democratic style of parenting may become more authoritarian after a parent remarries. Biological parents are more likely to continue to be involved with their children jointly when neither parent has remarried. They are least likely to jointly be involved if the father has remarried and the mother has not. Cohabitation can be difficult for children to adjust to because cohabiting relationships in the United States tend to be short-lived. About 50 percent last less than 2 years (Brown, 2000). A child who starts a relationship with the parent’s live-in partner may lose this relationship later. Even in long-term cohabiting relationships, once it is over, continued contact with the child is rare.

Blended Families

One in six children (16%) live in a blended family and this percentage has been stable over the last 30 years (Pew Research Center, 2015). At any one time, about 40% of children are living in blended families. As can be seen in Figure 4.5, Hispanic, black and white children are equally likely to be living in blended families. In contrast, children of Asian descent are more likely to be living with two married parents, often in their first marriage.

Blended families are not new. In the 1700-1800s there were many blended families, but they were created because one parent (usually the mother) died and the other parent remarried. Most blended families today are a result of divorce and remarriage, and such origins lead to new considerations. Blended families are more complex than intact families in a number of ways that can pose unique challenges to those who seek to form successful blended family relationships (Ayadi et al., 2025; Kumar, 2017; Visher & Visher, 1985).

Children may be a part of two households, and if each has different rules, the situation can be confusing. Members in blended families may not be as sure that others care and may require more demonstrations of affection for reassurance. For example, stepparents may expect more gratitude and acknowledgment from the stepchild than they would with a biological child. Stepchildren experience more uncertainty/insecurity in their relationship with the parent and fear the parents will see them as sources of tension. Stepparents may feel guilty for a lack of feelings they may initially have toward their partner’s children. Children who are required to respond to the parent’s new mate as though they were the child’s “real” parent often react with hostility, rebellion, or withdrawal. This occurs especially if there has not been sufficient time for the relationship to develop organically. Just like divorce, remarriage and blending families is a process that unfolds over time. The more that adults can take the perspectives of the children and adolescents involved, and allow them time to adjust, the better.

Here is some informal advice about how to do well as a blended family.

References

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OER Attribution:

“Lifespan Development: A Psychological Perspective, Second Edition” by Martha Lally and Suzanne Valentine-French is licensed under a CC-BY-NC-SA-3.0

Introduction to Sociology 2e by Rice University is licensed under a CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 License. 

Additional written material by Ellen Skinner, Portland State University is licensed under a CC BY-NC-SA 4.0